Tuesday, March 4, 2008

No Wrong Decision

Yesterday MM and I went to see Dr. C. Our appointment was at 7:30 AM about 30 miles from home. With commuter traffic, we were less than thrilled, but glad she was able to squeeze us in. I didn't sleep well the night before because I was alternately afraid that we would 1.) oversleep and miss the appointment or 2.) we would arrive on time only to find that the appointment was actually at 7:30 PM or some other day altogether. Luckily neither nightmare came to pass. We arrived at the appointed date and time.

This appointment was one of those, "Where do we go from here?" visits that you'd just rather not have. She answered all our questions and laid out our options as she saw them. We could attempt a tubal repair (the integrity of the left tube is still questionable) then try "the old fashioned way" for another 6 months to a year or we could move on to IVF. Insurance may or may not cover the surgery ($20K if not covered) and the success rate is unknown, since we won't know exactly what we're dealing with until after the procedure. As I said before, she's pretty conservative, so if it weren't for my low antral follicle count (8 as opposed to 20) she would definitely recommend the surgical option. But since the count is so low, it makes things a little more gray. I think she could see our stress in trying to make the "right" decision. She finally looked at us and said, "There's no wrong decision, do whatever feels best to you." We're taking some time to look into all the options, but are leaning toward an IVF cycle sooner than later.

If I could see the future this would be so much simpler. My fear with the surgery is that we'll try for another year and be in this same place next year, only I'm a year older. Of course I would prefer to conceive "the old fashioned way" but maybe I need to just get over it.

2 comments:

luna said...

hey CC, Dr. C is right -- there is no right or wrong answer, there's only what's best for you at the time.

for what it's worth, I'll share some of my experience with her... we had a similar conversation back in 2005. I had tubal and uterine issues she thought she could repair and then let us try on our own before moving to IUIs and IVF. my follicle count was decent for my age, but I was starting to have irregular cycles. I needed surgery anyway, so we went that route first.

my only regret was that we didn't do it sooner and that we tried on our own for so long. ultimately she gave us the confidence to try on our own, and my hub was not yet sold on IVF, so it was the right decision at the time for us. we did 3 IUIs in 5 months before agreeing to move to IVF.

I agree she is conservative, so you need to balance that with your own urgency and beliefs.

good luck in whatever you decide. ~luna

Suzanne said...

good gosh jess...i hate that you are even having to THINK about all of this cr@p...it is not like picking what food to eat at a fast food place...i can't imagine the weight upon your shoulders. please let me know of anything i can do to help lift some of the burden. i love you. in the meantime, nothin but prayers and positive energy heading your way! xoxo