Thursday, March 26, 2009

It's been real

I've watched several blogger buddies, previously infertile and otherwise, drop out of blogging and wondered when or if I would be ready to call it quits. Over the past three months with Jonas I've watched my posts drop off considerably. Yes, I'm busy being a new mom, but I also just haven't felt the need or desire as much lately.

I looked back over my posts from this time last year when I was dealing with another failed IUI. My post from Feb. 21st 2008 pretty much says it, the disappointment and despair was intense. Now, a little over a year later, that despair has been replaced with fulfillment and joy almost equally intense, though maybe not as blog worthy.

I have appreciated immensely the encouragement and support I have received here. Thanks for joining me on the journey. If you're still reading and wouldn't mind leaving one last comment so I know you're there, that would be great.

If you're interested in Jonas updates I may keep up a very minimal family blog, so send me your e-mail and I'll get you the link.


Friday, March 20, 2009

The Pump Returns...

My return to work date is just 6 weeks away! I am so glad to have had this time with my baby, but am looking forward to going back to a job that I love. There are so many things I thought I'd do with this time. Most of them never got done. The reality of caring for a newborn (and a new mom) all day is not quite like my romantic fantasy. Still, I feel absolutely bonded to my son and have treasured this special time at home with him. MM and I will be sharing childcare starting in May. We'll both be working a reduced schedule so we can be with Jonas most of the time. I'm happy to have a nanny for the other 15 or so hours we'll need to close the gap.

Breastfeeding still isn't as easy and painless as I had hoped it would be, but I'm committed to sticking with it. Yes, it is getting better, still not great though. Now I'm trying to figure out the best way to make sure I can continue to breastfeed him when I go back to work. My job is very breast-feeding friendly, so I'll get "pump breaks" and can go see him at the nanny's on my lunch break the days I'm there a full day. I'm just not sure how much/if I need to be pumping now so I am sure to have enough as he grows. Honestly, I still hate the thing. All the little parts, the noise, the ridiculous feeling of being hooked up to a milking machine...but I'll do it if I need to. If you have successfully managed this transition I'd love to hear from you. It's a little daunting.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Three weeks in baby land

We've had a pretty busy 3 weeks with our little man. I could write a lengthy post about each of the following, but I won't. Instead here's a quick run down of what's been happening in our world with a few of my favorite photos.

Feb. 24th- Evening training at work. Left Jonas with dad. All good.

Feb. 28th- Date night with MM. Jonas stayed home with awesome friend. No tears.

March 1st- Hosted my birth attendants for dinner to celebrate Jonas' 2 months and say thanks for the awesome care.

March 2nd- First IZs. More traumatic for mom and baby than expected. Cried like he's never cried before. Glad dad was there too.

March 5th- Jonas meets his great-aunt on my dad's side while she visits for a conference in SF.

March 6th- Trial run with nanny-to-be. Jonas stayed with her for 3 hrs while I prepared for company. Hard for me. Jonas was totally cool.

March 6-14th-Friends from St. Louis visit. Whirlwind of activity: Redwoods, Winery, Beach, SF. Jonas was great. Nice to reconnect with old friends and introduce them to our son.

March 9th- Scary night. Jonas spit up bright red blood. Seemed like a lot. Brief panic. Rational brain kicked in. Cracked, bleeding nipple was the culprit. Healing well. No more scary episodes.

March 14th- Planted the placenta under our apple tree in the new community orchard.

In and among all these events Jonas continues to grow and thrive. I am amazed at him daily. It's such a gift to know him and to be his mom.