Sunday, May 11, 2008

Madres

I was so wrapped up in this whole IVF cycle and the shock of pregnancy that I almost missed Mother's Day. Mom's Day is a mixed bag for me and MM. His mom died 3 1/2 years ago, so it's always a little sad. We still have his grandma and aunts, my mom and grandmas, but we both feel the loss of his mom. These "special" days bring it out.

I remember last year when we were trying to get pregnant. I had fantasies of taking a HPT on Mother's Day and getting the plus sign so I could tell MM we were going to be parents. It didn't happen that way of course.

Now, a year later I got my positive result, but I still don't feel like I have license to celebrate the day for myself. I don't look pregnant, I don't feel pregnant, but I am in fact pregnant (I took a HPT a few days ago just to confirm that the betas were actually mine). Maybe the ultrasound on Thursday will make me feel a little more pregnant. I'm looking forward to seeing something other than an empty uterus and hyper-stimulated ovaries.

Next year I hope to be celebrating this day with a 5 month old (or two). Happy Mother's Day.

1 comment:

Nate, Maurine, Hannah, and Monroe said...

Happy Mother's Day! I'm not sure if you really "feel" pregnant until a. the hormones kick in and you're hanging your head in the porcelin throne or b. you start feeling the baby kick- At least for me at least. - When the baby is moving around- it's pretty hard to forget- and amazing too! You will love your ultrasound! It's so amazing actually seeing something moving/growing inside of you. - Love you- Mo