I am of course referring to my breasts. I know this is not the experience of everyone, but for me, labor pales in comparison to breastfeeding. Things are just now starting to get a little easier (i.e. less painful). Right around the 3 week mark we started feeding without the nipple shield during the day. We were both too tired and frustrated at night to go without it for the first few days, but now we've been feeding unshielded for a little over a week. The good news about that is I no longer have to pump! The bad news is he's destroyed my nipples. Cracked, bleeding, macerated--not a pretty picture. I've consulted with several nurses and midwives over the past week and have some ointment that's helping. I'm also spending as much time as possible au naturale (which MM loves of course). Jonas has a pretty good latch now, but I think I was just so anxious to get him off the shield I didn't pay much attention to his positioning at first. Then by the time I did, it was too late. It seriously felt like a hot knife stabbing me when he latched on. It took my breath away. Then on top of it I got a plugged milk duct. The combination of the pain, fatigue, and postpartum hormones have made me a little crazy, but at least I recognize it for what it is--part of a difficult transition to motherhood.
I don't say this to scare or discourage anyone from breastfeeding--I'm still glad I'm doing it and know it's good for Jonas and for me (even when it hurts). I was just totally unprepared for the challenge that breastfeeding can be. If anyone else is having trouble breastfeeding or isn't having the blissed-out experience you've read about you're not alone, and it does get better.
There's so much more I'd like to say about my transition, but that will have to wait for another post. Most of my time has been full of feeding, baby-care and breast-care lately, with an afternoon walk in the Moby. It hasn't left much time for blogging. This morning though my son is asleep on my chest and is letting me do some catching up. I can't believe he's a month old today!
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4 comments:
My dear, I HEAR YOU. I could copy and paste your post on my blog. WTF?? Why is it so freaking painful? Lizzy has a good latch (we used a nipple shield on the left side to help with that), and right around week 3, we also got to where we could breath and nurse without crying out..I literally would cry before that. Then, right around 4 weeks, painful stabbing shooting pains from my nipple to my back, and deep, deep cracks. like the grand canyon. I broke down and called the lactation nurse and she said over the phone, "yeast." I swear to God, she should be our next president. I've been on the yeast nipple cream for not quite 48 hours and it's so much better. Lizzy is getting mouth drops and I'm also on diflucan. Just telling you this in case your cracked nipples get infected with yeast...the shooting pains can be a tell tale sign that the yeast has invaded your milk ducts.
Also, try walking around outside with your knockers exposed to the sun. MM will probably like that too!
I had the same experience with Hannah. I remember the same pain you are describing. And I don't think I will ever look the same either:) I feel so proud of myself now for persevering though that. I nursed her until she was 12 months and it is one of my greatest accomplishments. Of course, it got much easier and becomes the natural thing you want it to be. Hang in there. It will get easier! I used Lanolin religiously with Luke and that helped me so much. Have you heard of Soothies. I never used them but they say they help with the pain. The day will come when you look down at him nursing (it is completely painless) and he will look up at you and smile. It is so worth it!
It gets better! Just hang in there. After problems with plugged ducts with both boys, latch on issues with one, and the other deciding he only wanted to nurse on one side, I understand. It sounds like you have a great support system, though. It's worth it when you get to the point, which hopefully should be very soon, where there is no pain and everything is good! I agree with Jamie - it's so worth it when they look up at you and smile. :)
Hey girl...I found your blog from a mutual friend's blog (can't remember who). Anyway, I had the same experience. I used breathing exercises through each feeding for the first few weeks, and could not keep the tears from squeezing out of my eyes because it hurt so badly. I went on to have a very tough first five months, complete with clogged ducts, repeat mastitis, cracked nipples and thrush. All that said, I breastfed my firstborn until I was pregnant with my second (Caleb was 17-months-old) and would have continued if my milk hadn't dried up from the second pregnancy. There will come a time when the early pain is a distant memory and you will cherish all the hours of your precious child at your breast.
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