I thought it was interesting that the two comments about my first home birth post both mentioned the issue of control. One said that home birth felt uncontrolled, the other that the woman seems to be more in control during a home and/or water birth. As someone who likes to plan and control to a certain extent, this was one of my main challenges to overcome. Some of the best advice I got during my pregnancy regarding labor was that it is the ultimate letting go. There's no controlling it, and the sooner you realize that and let your instincts take over, the better off you'll be. Easier said than done, but by the time I was ready to give birth I was in a pretty good space to just let it happen however it needed to.
An OB nurse and friend likes to say that most women spend way too much time preparing for and worrying about something that will likely last less than 24 hours and will happen regardless (the childbirth part). She recommends spending more time preparing for parenting and breastfeeding. Good advice, but back to the home birth stuff...
We came to home birth out of the desire to have a natural and unmedicated birth in a comfortable environment with minimal intervention. Initially I thought that a birthing center would be the way to go, but when I visited ours I realized that a birth center birth is really just a home birth at someone else's house (assuming the home birth is attended by a professional who has all the necessary equipment and training to handle an emergency). If you were at home or in a birthing center and you needed a c-section, you'd still have an ambulance or car-ride to the hospital.
Fear is another big consideration. For me, I felt safer and more comfortable delivering in my own home, with professionals I know and trust who were committed to being there for me through the whole process and shared my goal for the delivery--a safe and healthy mom and baby with minimal intervention. I realize most people probably don't feel this way, and I'm not against hospital births if that is where you feel most comfortable, but I do think women should have a real choice and not be forced into the hospital because someone scared them into it. The outcomes for attended home births in low risk women are as good as or better than hospital births. I think because of my profession and training as a nurse practitioner, I have more first-hand knowledge about the advantages and limitations of the hospital setting. For me, home just felt right. That said, I was completely willing to go to the hospital if I needed to. Thankfully, I had a positive experience and got what I wanted, a healthy baby and mom.
The other great thing about home birth is you never have to go anywhere. It may sound obvious, but staying home and sleeping in our bed with MM and our baby from the beginning was great, and much different than the hospital. Having control over who was there and when they came was also great. It was just the birth experience I wanted.
I can't think of anything I would have done differently, except maybe turn the hot water heater up. It took forever to fill the AquaDoula.
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3 comments:
i totally get you about the "control" issue. i meant that the woman seems to have more control (is in charge) in a home birth...verses being ordered around by a doctor/nurse who gets to decide every move in a hospital. ultimately, it is always the body and that baby who is running the show! what a great experience, jess! thank you so much for sharing!
Suz, you're absolutely right about being able to control the externals at a home birth, that was one major selling point for me :)
I can only imagine how long it took to fill up that tub! I can barely squeak out a hot shower. I have always wanted a home birth and admire you for doing it. I see nothing wrong with it. And while finding out I needed acesarean was initally a disappointment (and then turned out to go as well as it could have, got to hold her, nurse her right away, etc), I still HATED the hospital stay afterwards. The hospital policy was flexible to a degree, but some of the nursery nurses insisted she be taken back to the nursery for her vitals and weight. At first I was not bothered by that, but after walking the halls and hearing her screaming in the nursery, running over and finding her unattended, screaming/gurgling, and completely uncovered, I lost it and insisted they all do what they needed in my room from then on. The absolute truth is no one will take better care of your baby except you, and being in your home makes it less like a 7 a to 7 p "job" for the health care workers and more like an "experience." Kudos to you for doing it!
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