Scared

Yesterday morning I woke up with a scare--bright red blood. Not a ton, but enough to cause a little freak out. I pulled it together enough to call my midwife who told me to come in right away. I was off work (day after my b-day) and planned to spend a fun day with MM and his dad who is visiting from China. Plans changed.

We left dad at home and went to the clinic to try and find out why I was bleeding. My midwife was great. She said bleeding is never good, but she bled for a month with her 3rd child--heavy--and everything turned out OK. So although she always takes it seriously, she's not quite as scared about it as she used to be.

The little one was still squirming around inside on ultrasound, heart beating and everything. My cervix was closed and long, but the bleeding was definitely coming from there. She said it looked like part of the placenta may have separated from the wall of my uterus. There's nothing to do but wait. She told me to take it easy for a few days and come back if the bleeding gets worse. So far I'm not having any cramping, I'm just laying around at home trying to convince this little baby to stick around. I was just starting to let myself be really excited now that I'm 14 weeks. I don't know what I would do if we lost this child. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's scary. We're just waiting--again.