I've had three visits with my acupuncturist now and this is my diagnosis: Liver Congestion. If you aren't familiar with Chinese medicine, as far as I can tell they view disease as disruptions or imbalances in Qi. Organs usually involved in infertility are the kidney, spleen, and liver. My diagnosis was made based on my pulses (measured at three different places on the radial artery at three different depths) and the appearance of my tongue, which looks pretty good according to Laurel, especially compared to my pulses.
In order to smooth out my Qi and get the blood moving to "decongest" my liver I'm taking herbs (Qui Gong Peony), getting acupuncture, doing yoga (especially twisting postures), and applying Castor oil packs. I'm not giving up on Western Medicine fixes, just taking a break and exploring other possibilities. The Castor oil isn't as bad as it sounds either. I'm supposed to apply it to my abdomen, cover with a flannel cloth and a hot water bottle and leave it for at least an hour three nights a week. The University of Maryland Medical Center actually endorses it as a treatment for endometriosis. I still haven't found an explanation for why or how it works, but it's kind of a nice quiet time with my hot water bottle and Castor oil, so I'll keep doing it I guess.
Writing it all out like that makes it sound like I'm desperate. In a way I guess I am, but that's not how I feel most of the time. I just that this (having a baby) is really important to me and I want to give it a good try. If I have to let go of this hope at some point I will feel better knowing that I tried (almost) everything.
I think every woman in this situation at some point asks herself, "What am I willing to do? What can I live with? When is it OK to stop?" I'm still trying to answer those questions, but for now I feel authentic about where I am and what I'm doing.