I've been having a hard time since I hit 24 weeks with what I'm calling the viability blues. As a nurse who worked in Pediatric ICU for almost 3 years, I've seen more than enough ex-preemies with varying degrees of physical, neurological, and developmental deficits to make a momma nervous.
There's still some debate about what the point of viability is, but 24-26 weeks is right on the edge for me. I have fears of preterm labor or premature rupture. I'm having trouble sleeping.
I'm not high risk. All indications are that little man is healthy, growing, and on track for a term delivery. But that's just it--there's no good way to predict who will give birth preterm and who won't.
For now I'm setting smaller goals. I don't need to get to 40 weeks, even 28 would make me feel a lot better. After that, 32 would be great.
It's strange to be here at 24 weeks, wondering and worrying, when for so long I doubted if I'd even get pregnant. Now I am, and I'm really attached. I can't imagine the pain of a loss at this point.
I'm leaving for a 10 day trip on Wed to visit some friends from Nursing school and then to see my family. By the time I get home I'll be 27 weeks. The trip should be a good distraction. I'm taking a copy of my prenatal record, just so nothing will happen.
That's my story here at almost 25 weeks. Thanks for checking in.
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3 comments:
As I approach 21 weeks and beyond, I know these fears. I hope they are unfounded (for both of us).
Enjoy your trip and I hope it provides the distraction you need.
jess...i TOTALLY went through that. there was a week straight that i cried and cried and cried b/c i was so worried. i'm praying for you and the little man--the only time i felt better when when i gave all my fears and worries over to the BIG guy. (sounds so cliche--but it is so true) i love you! can't wait to hug that belly!
Jessicca, I'm sure it must be such a strange feeling. Uncertainty still lurking in the background, when all you want to do is hold your little boy. You're almost there! I have a great feeling about it. I'm praying for you. And Marcus. And baby Moore. I can't wait to see you tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!! The love boat will be waiting for you at the airport :)
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