Double Dose

This blog has become an almost forgotten piece of my past. I only stop by once a year to dump bad news. I miss writing and would like to write about something else, but honestly I've been so preoccupied and depressed that nothing else really comes out. I started off the summer with yet another loss. Two in one year. I didn't learn my lesson the first time. I still got just as hopeful and excited, even as I tried to be guarded. Secretly I thought I couldn't have two miscarriages in a row. My problem was always just getting pregnant, not staying pregnant. This time I only made it to 6 weeks before I started bleeding. I left work a total wreck and went straight to my OB's office. They did an ultrasound and said they couldn't tell for sure, there might be something viable, it was still too early to tell. I should get serial quants and come back in 3 days. The quants were reassuring, and my bleeding stopped, but by three days later the ultrasound was clear. Missed AB. There was nothing like a baby in there. That was it.

It still doesn't feel right to say I lost a baby this time, since there was never much more than some cells that didn't line up quite right, but it was a significant loss. I lost the future I had imagined with that child, and it hurt--bad. It was only a few weeks, but I could already see Jojo as a big brother. Our family would become four. I was pregnant with my sister-in-law and one of my best friends. The kids would be close in age. The pain of the first loss would be soon forgotten, replaced by the joy of a healthy pregnancy, but that's not how the story ended. So here I am at the end of the summer still licking my wounds. Scarred by the experience and wondering what comes next. I'm not sure how many rounds I have in me.

Tilt-A-Whirl

I've had a crazy month and finally felt like writing about. This old spot in the virtual world seemed the most appropriate place to do it.

Our son is closing in on 2 years the end of December. He's amazing. This post is not about him.

In August MM and I had a casual chat about contraception and the possibility of having #2. We naturally thought it would take us some time to conceive, but finally felt like we were at a place that even if the unthinkable happened and we got pregnant without intervention, and soon, that we would be OK.

You probably know where this is going, now. October 17th I had a positive pregnancy test. TWO MONTHS after being off birth control. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! We couldn't believe it. After the shock wore off we started getting really exited. I had only been pregnant once before, through IVF, so I thought that was my only real hurdle, the getting pregnant part. Of course we were still cautiously optimistic for the first few weeks, but then at 7 weeks (when I couldn't stand the waiting), one of the OB/GYNs in my office did an US for me (while I waited for my first official prenatal appointment) where I saw one lovely intrauterine pregnancy, a beating heart, and a healthy yolk sac. THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING I thought.

Last Tuesday we had that first official prenatal appointment with "big HMO". MM and I were in the exam room together, my lying on the exam table looking at the ultrasound screen, expecting to see a 9 week fetus and that same reassuring heartbeat, but it was still. No movement. I watched the screen as she moved the probe around, turned the sound up, shifted the contrast on the screen. Nothing. I knew what I was seeing, but didn't want to believe it. She sent us down for a formal ultrasound to confirm what the office ultrasound showed. It did of course.

MM and I took the rest of the day off together. I felt physically fine, no cramping or bleeding, nothing that would have clued me into a problem with the pregnancy. We took a drive, went to the beach, watched a movie, cried and talked. Since I had a trip planned for the following week and wanted to avoid prolonging the inevitable, we went with the D&C option. I went on with life as usual Wednesday and Thursday, and went in on Friday AM for the procedure. MM was with me, and it went as well as those things can I suppose.

Now it's over and part of me feels like it never was. The whole thing was so unexpected and unbelievable. I wanted to believe the universe was paying me back for all the trouble the first time around, but that wasn't the way it turned out.

It's amazing what your mind can do. I only knew I was pregnant for less than 5 weeks, but in that time I saw the rest of our life as a family changed. Jonas with a younger sibling, just 2 1/2 years apart, like me and my brother. A summer baby with time off to bond and hang out with my two kiddos. Family vacations with the four of us. You get the idea.

This last month has been up, down, and around. Sometimes things seemed to be moving too fast, other times in slow motion. Now here I am in a place I didn't want to be. Wanting. It doesn't feel so casual any more.

It's been real

I've watched several blogger buddies, previously infertile and otherwise, drop out of blogging and wondered when or if I would be ready to call it quits. Over the past three months with Jonas I've watched my posts drop off considerably. Yes, I'm busy being a new mom, but I also just haven't felt the need or desire as much lately.

I looked back over my posts from this time last year when I was dealing with another failed IUI. My post from Feb. 21st 2008 pretty much says it, the disappointment and despair was intense. Now, a little over a year later, that despair has been replaced with fulfillment and joy almost equally intense, though maybe not as blog worthy.

I have appreciated immensely the encouragement and support I have received here. Thanks for joining me on the journey. If you're still reading and wouldn't mind leaving one last comment so I know you're there, that would be great.

If you're interested in Jonas updates I may keep up a very minimal family blog, so send me your e-mail and I'll get you the link.

Adios.

The Pump Returns...

My return to work date is just 6 weeks away! I am so glad to have had this time with my baby, but am looking forward to going back to a job that I love. There are so many things I thought I'd do with this time. Most of them never got done. The reality of caring for a newborn (and a new mom) all day is not quite like my romantic fantasy. Still, I feel absolutely bonded to my son and have treasured this special time at home with him. MM and I will be sharing childcare starting in May. We'll both be working a reduced schedule so we can be with Jonas most of the time. I'm happy to have a nanny for the other 15 or so hours we'll need to close the gap.

Breastfeeding still isn't as easy and painless as I had hoped it would be, but I'm committed to sticking with it. Yes, it is getting better, still not great though. Now I'm trying to figure out the best way to make sure I can continue to breastfeed him when I go back to work. My job is very breast-feeding friendly, so I'll get "pump breaks" and can go see him at the nanny's on my lunch break the days I'm there a full day. I'm just not sure how much/if I need to be pumping now so I am sure to have enough as he grows. Honestly, I still hate the thing. All the little parts, the noise, the ridiculous feeling of being hooked up to a milking machine...but I'll do it if I need to. If you have successfully managed this transition I'd love to hear from you. It's a little daunting.

Three weeks in baby land

We've had a pretty busy 3 weeks with our little man. I could write a lengthy post about each of the following, but I won't. Instead here's a quick run down of what's been happening in our world with a few of my favorite photos.



Feb. 24th- Evening training at work. Left Jonas with dad. All good.

Feb. 28th- Date night with MM. Jonas stayed home with awesome friend. No tears.

March 1st- Hosted my birth attendants for dinner to celebrate Jonas' 2 months and say thanks for the awesome care.

March 2nd- First IZs. More traumatic for mom and baby than expected. Cried like he's never cried before. Glad dad was there too.

March 5th- Jonas meets his great-aunt on my dad's side while she visits for a conference in SF.

March 6th- Trial run with nanny-to-be. Jonas stayed with her for 3 hrs while I prepared for company. Hard for me. Jonas was totally cool.

March 6-14th-Friends from St. Louis visit. Whirlwind of activity: Redwoods, Winery, Beach, SF. Jonas was great. Nice to reconnect with old friends and introduce them to our son.

March 9th- Scary night. Jonas spit up bright red blood. Seemed like a lot. Brief panic. Rational brain kicked in. Cracked, bleeding nipple was the culprit. Healing well. No more scary episodes.

March 14th- Planted the placenta under our apple tree in the new community orchard.



In and among all these events Jonas continues to grow and thrive. I am amazed at him daily. It's such a gift to know him and to be his mom.

What's that in the freezer?

A few days after the delivery, I opened up the freezer looking for something to eat. I noticed a clear Tupperware container with what looked like frozen fruit salad inside, but I didn't remember freezing any cut up fruit & berries. Before I investigated any further I realized what it was--my placenta. If you think that's gross, I apologize. I think it's a little gross myself, and it's my placenta.

Prior to the delivery the midwife had asked if I wanted to keep the placenta to plant or anything. Apparently it's pretty common with home birthers to save the placenta for some other use. I wasn't sure at the time, so I guess she erred on the side of caution and froze it so I could decide later. For quite a while I still wasn't sure what to do with it. It didn't seem right just to throw it out, but we live in a house we rent, and I didn't want to worry about having to dig up a placenta tree every time we move. So it remained in the freezer.

Now I am excited to report that my placenta will have a new home. A non-profit dedicated to developing a sustainable local food system just started an adopt a tree program. You donate toward the purchase of a fruit tree that you can then name and plant on their farm here in town. I was a little nervous about asking the farm manager if it was OK to plant my placenta with our tree. I left an odd message on her voice mail, but she called back and said she loved the idea and that my placenta was welcome there. So in just a few weeks my placenta will become part of the earth that nourishes a fruit tree that will hopefully provide great fresh fruit to local families for years to come. That makes me smile--even if it is a little gross.

Home Alone

Jonas is 5 weeks old now, and today was our first day home alone together. MM took the first 3 weeks off, then my mom and grandparents came the day before MM had to go back to work. My mom stayed for two weeks and left on Saturday evening (she returned for another brief stint later in the week). It was great to have help for so long, but I also felt like it was time for Jonas and I to get into our own groove.

I know it's different for everyone, but bonding didn't happen instantly like I imagined. I love him deeply, but the feeling of closeness and attachment just wasn't there for a while. The complete dependence of an infant and the selflessness that's required of a mom is intense, and was harder to handle than I thought it would be. Now that we're on our own and some time has passed (and breastfeeding is finally getting easier) The feelings I was missing and wanted at first are coming.

Everything went pretty well today. No major melt-downs for either one of us. I ate, he ate, we walked, he even let me shower while he hung out in his bassinet looking at a book. Not a bad first day home alone.

Unplugged and Unshielded

I am of course referring to my breasts. I know this is not the experience of everyone, but for me, labor pales in comparison to breastfeeding. Things are just now starting to get a little easier (i.e. less painful). Right around the 3 week mark we started feeding without the nipple shield during the day. We were both too tired and frustrated at night to go without it for the first few days, but now we've been feeding unshielded for a little over a week. The good news about that is I no longer have to pump! The bad news is he's destroyed my nipples. Cracked, bleeding, macerated--not a pretty picture. I've consulted with several nurses and midwives over the past week and have some ointment that's helping. I'm also spending as much time as possible au naturale (which MM loves of course). Jonas has a pretty good latch now, but I think I was just so anxious to get him off the shield I didn't pay much attention to his positioning at first. Then by the time I did, it was too late. It seriously felt like a hot knife stabbing me when he latched on. It took my breath away. Then on top of it I got a plugged milk duct. The combination of the pain, fatigue, and postpartum hormones have made me a little crazy, but at least I recognize it for what it is--part of a difficult transition to motherhood.

I don't say this to scare or discourage anyone from breastfeeding--I'm still glad I'm doing it and know it's good for Jonas and for me (even when it hurts). I was just totally unprepared for the challenge that breastfeeding can be. If anyone else is having trouble breastfeeding or isn't having the blissed-out experience you've read about you're not alone, and it does get better.

There's so much more I'd like to say about my transition, but that will have to wait for another post. Most of my time has been full of feeding, baby-care and breast-care lately, with an afternoon walk in the Moby. It hasn't left much time for blogging. This morning though my son is asleep on my chest and is letting me do some catching up. I can't believe he's a month old today!

Grandma

MM's mom made this blanket.
She died 4 years ago.
We miss her.
Jonas would make her happy.
She would have been a wonderful grandma.

Home Birth Part II

I thought it was interesting that the two comments about my first home birth post both mentioned the issue of control. One said that home birth felt uncontrolled, the other that the woman seems to be more in control during a home and/or water birth. As someone who likes to plan and control to a certain extent, this was one of my main challenges to overcome. Some of the best advice I got during my pregnancy regarding labor was that it is the ultimate letting go. There's no controlling it, and the sooner you realize that and let your instincts take over, the better off you'll be. Easier said than done, but by the time I was ready to give birth I was in a pretty good space to just let it happen however it needed to.

An OB nurse and friend likes to say that most women spend way too much time preparing for and worrying about something that will likely last less than 24 hours and will happen regardless (the childbirth part). She recommends spending more time preparing for parenting and breastfeeding. Good advice, but back to the home birth stuff...

We came to home birth out of the desire to have a natural and unmedicated birth in a comfortable environment with minimal intervention. Initially I thought that a birthing center would be the way to go, but when I visited ours I realized that a birth center birth is really just a home birth at someone else's house (assuming the home birth is attended by a professional who has all the necessary equipment and training to handle an emergency). If you were at home or in a birthing center and you needed a c-section, you'd still have an ambulance or car-ride to the hospital.

Fear is another big consideration. For me, I felt safer and more comfortable delivering in my own home, with professionals I know and trust who were committed to being there for me through the whole process and shared my goal for the delivery--a safe and healthy mom and baby with minimal intervention. I realize most people probably don't feel this way, and I'm not against hospital births if that is where you feel most comfortable, but I do think women should have a real choice and not be forced into the hospital because someone scared them into it. The outcomes for attended home births in low risk women are as good as or better than hospital births. I think because of my profession and training as a nurse practitioner, I have more first-hand knowledge about the advantages and limitations of the hospital setting. For me, home just felt right. That said, I was completely willing to go to the hospital if I needed to. Thankfully, I had a positive experience and got what I wanted, a healthy baby and mom.

The other great thing about home birth is you never have to go anywhere. It may sound obvious, but staying home and sleeping in our bed with MM and our baby from the beginning was great, and much different than the hospital. Having control over who was there and when they came was also great. It was just the birth experience I wanted.

I can't think of anything I would have done differently, except maybe turn the hot water heater up. It took forever to fill the AquaDoula.

Home Birth

I read a post from a fellow blogger who was on a rant against home birth. It was disappointing to see the misinformation that's out there. Especially after having had such a wonderful home birth experience. It made me wonder if anyone reading my blog had questions about home birth our our decision to birth at home. It's important to distinguish an attended home birth (attended by a licensed professional i.e. MD, CNM, etc.) from an unattended home birth or a birth attended by a lay midwife. I had regular prenatal care and was attended by licensed professionals with years of experience with labor and delivery in a variety of settings. We had all the equipment we needed to monitor the baby and to manage an emergency (oxygen, pitocin for postpartum hemorrhage, etc.). So this is your chance to get your burning home birth questions answered. Fire away.

Due Date and Breastfeeding Boot Camp

Today is my due date--a date I've been repeating for the past 9 months. It's strange that it's here and I'm holding my one week old son. I'm so glad he decided to come when he did. I think 6 lb 12 oz was about all I could handle. The tax break is also a nice bonus.

I have been in breastfeeding boot camp for the past week, hence the lack of posting. I have had great support throughout the process, from the lactation consultant, MM, my parents, and my midwife. It's not as easy as I thought it would be. It took several days for my milk to come in, and even then, he had trouble getting a good latch. I saw the lactation consultant last Tuesday. She recommended a nipple shield, which has made breastfeeding much easier. Unfortunately the nipple shield can make transferring milk a little more difficult for the baby, so in addition to about 40 minutes of breastfeeding every 2-3 hours, I also have to pump 15 minutes and supplement with the expressed breast milk. So that's pretty much been life for the past week. I breastfeed, MM changes Jonas and gives the supplemental milk while I pump. Between feedings I try to get a shower in, feed myself, and nap. We also spend a lot of time just staring at Jonas. It's truly amazing to see him here after so much anticipation.

It's been so fun to share the excitement of our son's arrival with our friends and family. The support from our community has been great. It's really beautiful to experience the love people share during these important transitions in life. My parents arrived on Thursday and left early this morning. The timing was perfect. It gave us a few days to get settled and be alone with Jonas and they were here to help when we really needed it.

I had a little melt down on Friday. Up until then I had been feeling pretty good (other than a painful perineum). The midwife came over to weigh Jonas and check-in on the breast-feeding. He was looking a little jaundice, had lost weight, and only took 1/2 an ounce in a 40 minute feed (we checked his pre and post feeding weight). I felt horrible about not being able to feed my baby and was so tired I was getting irrational. By the next day though I was feeling better and have made peace with the pump. I still don't like it but I'll pretty much do anything for this little guy.

In other exciting news, I shaved my legs for the first time in months! I almost forgot it was possible. As much as I loved being pregnant, it's nice to have him on the outside now and get my body back.

Happy Birth Day Jonas!

Our son was born at home December 28th at 10:15 AM weighing 6 lb 12 oz. Our journey to parenthood has been a long one, but thankfully the labor was relatively short. If you're interested in the full details, here's how it all went down.

Saturday around 5 PM our midwife came to the house to check my cervix and strip my membranes. I had also been to acupuncture to "fluff my kidney qi" in hopes for a smooth labor and had started evening primrose oil to get my cervix ready. I had also been taking longer more strenuous walks the past few days. MM was a little nervous about the whole stripping the membranes thing, but she assured us that she does this for almost all her clients (if they're GBS negative) and only once has it put them into labor within 24 hours. Well, I'm not sure if it was the walk, the acupuncture, the oil, or if Jonas was just ready, but at 1:30 AM on Sunday I lost my mucus plug and about 15 minutes later, my water broke. Thankfully it was clear/pinkish with no meconium. I called my midwife and let her know. She said to try and rest and see if my contractions picked up. I called less than an hour later when the contractions were getting pretty strong and closer together, every 5-6 minutes. I had hopes of making banana bread during the early labor stages, but I couldn't get past gathering the ingredients. I was beginning to doubt my ability to do this whole thing unmedicated at home. MM started putting the AquaDoula together and helped me through the tougher contractions. My midwife and the nurse got to the house around 5 AM, followed shortly by our housemate Nena who had just arrived from her Christmas vacation, and Jules, a great friend and natural nurturer. They kept us all fed and hydrated throughout the process and acted as our photographers. I can't thank them enough.

The midwife didn't want to check me at first because my water had broken, but when I said I was having the urge to bear down and my contractions kept getting stronger they checked. I was 7 cm at around 5:30. Finally the AquaDoula was hot and ready, so I got in to help me through transition. It was a really nice change and helped keep me a little more comfortable. Before too long I was completely dilated and ready to push. I think it was around 7:30. I wanted to get out of the tub and move to the bedroom, so that's what we did.

I pushed for what seemed like forever, but was really about 2 1/2 hrs. I begged the midwife to just take him out, but she assured me I was going to push him out myself. I felt his head coming out and finally MM and I delivered our son. It was one of those truly amazing moments in life. To bring life into the world, to see this child who has grown inside of me from just a few cells--it's indescribable. Thanks for joining me on this journey. Hope you like the snapshot.

38 Week Report

I had my weekly appointment on Monday. My midwife checked my cervix and said I was a "cheap 2." I guess that means I'm somewhere closer to 1.5 cm dilated, but if you stretch it you could call it a 2 and I'm 50% effaced (the cervix is getting thinner). I would like to be a little further along at this point, but I'm not complaining. At least these contractions are doing something.

Monday afternoon I went for my formal ultrasound to check the fetal weight. His estimated weight was 6 lb 14 oz +/- 13 oz. They aren't super accurate this late in the game, but at least we know he's not 10 lbs or something. Everything else looked good. It was fun to watch him playing around in there. We got another good shot of the genitals--still a boy :), but he was shy about giving a good profile picture. He kept getting his feet and hands in the way. I guess we'll see the real thing soon enough.

Now I'm just closing in on the last few things I want to get done before he comes. I finally finished knitting a little sleep sack for him and am almost done making a new cover for the bassinet.

MM and I are looking forward to a few quiet days home alone together. Our families are in the South and Midwest, so it's just us this holiday. We don't have any commitments other than a reservation for Christmas dinner. I think we're going to try and pack in several movies since it looks like it's going to be rainy.

Merry Christmas Eve!

Still Here

Just wanted to say I'm still here and still pregnant. We've been pretty busy lately. Not so much with baby preparations, but taking care of family stuff. My father-in-law arrived with his wife and her daughter a week ago. He was very sick when he arrived (after a 15 + hour flight from China), and was admitted to the hospital for the next 6 days. Thankfully, he is recovering well and is now home with us for the next few days until he's able to travel to his final destination in Arkansas for the holidays.

In other news, I am still having contractions daily, but nothing regular. They seem to be worse at night and in the early morning. I've still been able to control my diabetes with my diet alone with one exception--I had a little binge the other night. Some friends brought over homemade cookies and fudge for our housemate. It was just too tempting. I had 3 cookies and 2 pieces of fudge. My blood sugar was almost 160 afterward. I apologized to the baby and vowed to do better. It's hard sometimes.

Things are pretty much in place for labor and delivery. I will pick up the AquaDoula on Monday when I'm 38 weeks, so I can labor comfortably (is that really possible?) at home and there's room for MM to join me in the tub if needed.

I had a great episode of "pregnant brain" earlier this week. A friend brought dinner over with some grapefruit to have for dessert. When it came time to cut them up and serve them we could only find one of the two. We blamed it on Sadie (the 16 month old cutie), but later found it in the upper cabinet with the glasses. Yes, I put the grapefruit away with the glasses. Classic.

The time is really getting short and I am realizing more and more that my time "alone" is limited. I'm so excited, and of course a little nervous. I know my life will change. It's just a matter of time now.

No Stops

I've officially reached the point where no one will try and stop me if my body decides to go into labor! It's pretty crazy to think how close to delivery we are.

The hand-me-down bassinet arrived this weekend, the car seat is in the car (though not properly installed), and diapers are in the washer. Our oven is out, so I'm not cooking and freezing like I had planned, but otherwise I think we're on track.

I have had a few emotional moments the past few days reflecting on where we've been and where we are. We went to get our Christmas tree the other day (I love a real tree in the house). MM and I were decorating it and listening to Christmas music last night. It was a beautiful, quiet night and I just started crying one of those wonderful happy cries. I was thinking about all the Christmases we have shared over the past 8 years together, the happy ones and the sad ones, and looking forward to sharing this tradition with our son for many years to come. It still seems too good to be true sometimes.

Breathing Easy

With 35 weeks right around the corner (tomorrow in fact), I'm much more relaxed and have let myself get out and enjoy this beautiful time in life a little more.

We had guests in for the Thanksgiving holiday--our house-mate's family. We enjoyed having some pseudo-family around, but didn't feel much pressure around entertaining. The ten of us (8 adults and 2 kids) went to some local vineyards for the Holiday Open House to check out the fall colors and sample some fun food and wine pairings (don't worry, I was a designated driver). The next day we hit the beach.




It's nice to be out in the world again after so many weeks around the house. People are really sweet (for the most part). I do get some of the, "You need to eat more," when people find out when I'm due. I'm always torn between smiling and nodding and telling them, "Actually I have gestational diabetes and am following a strict diet, but thanks for your concern."

It's really hitting me these past few weeks that this is something I may never get to experience again. I know I've said it before, but I'm so thankful for this pregnancy and the little boy that is rowing inside.

Milestone

If you look at the little baby counter on the right today, you'll notice it says 34 weeks, or 6 weeks to go. I am breathing a huge sigh of relief today, knowing that if my little man decided to make an early appearance, everything would be OK. Sure, I'd still like to get to 36 or 38 weeks, but today I am happy for what I have--a healthy growing boy with 34 weeks of gestation under his belt. The last few days I've really started enjoying the pregnancy and preparation again since the anxiety is fading away. MM asked me the other day if I was ready to have this baby, and I think I am, at least as much as I can be. I haven't been listening to my hypnobirthing CDs like I wanted, I'm not meditating or practicing yoga like I would like, but still, I feel ready.

At my last appointment I talked with my midwife about our plans for the home birth. She said the gestational diabetes makes our window of comfort a little smaller. If everything was normal, she would say home birth is OK between 36 and 41-42 weeks, but since GDM delays fetal lung maturity and he's a white boy (statistically the slowest to mature and worst outcomes pre-term), potentially a very fat white boy (GDM will also mean he's bigger than he would otherwise be), she would feel better if we delivered at home only between 37 and 40 weeks. Also, chances are good that I'll be induced if I go past my due date (again, thanks to GDM) which would of course mean a hospital birth. It's a little disappointing, but I didn't get into this so I could have a home birth, I got into this so I could have a baby and be a mom. However that happens at this point is fine with me.

Part-time work is going well. It's just enough to keep me interacting and engaged with the world outside home and baby preparations, but not so much that I'm contracting and totally exhausted. I have started having some lovely swelling of my lower extremities--yep, some days I have cankles. Otherwise I feel pretty good.

Blood sugar is still in check without insulin thanks to the steady diet of ham (nitrite free :), eggs, cheese, avacado, nuts, and peanut butter, with an occasional half an apple and veggies. I gave myself a pass not to check my blood sugar after meals this weekend. I didn't eat anything I hadn't eaten before, and I was enjoying a much needed day out with MM and didn't want to poke my finger one more time. Otherwise I've been a great patient, I promise.

I can hardly believe we've made it this far. It's truly amazing. He will be here so soon!

Baby Needs

I'm finally starting to think this whole thing might really work out now that I'm over the 32 week hump. Until the past few days, I hadn't felt much of a sense of urgency about preparing for the little guy. What do babies really need anyway? Mostly boobs and diapers from what I can tell. I actually started leaking some colostrum last week, so it looks like all systems are go on the first count. As far as the diapers, thanks to the generous gift of several friends, we're pretty much all fixed up with our cloth diapering goodies as well.

I think that's one of the best things about this process, experiencing the love and generosity of our community. We've already been given more than we even need. It's really amazing. It feels good to bring this baby into a place where he is so loved. To me, that's just as important as boobs and diapers.

Food for a day

I know you're just dying to know what I'm eating these days. Listed below is my 24 hour recall from yesterday, my first official day with GDM.
Here's the run-down:

Breakfast: 2 slices of bacon, 1 oz. cheese, 1/2 avacado (3 protein, 1 fat)

Snack I: 1 oz cheese (1 protein)

Lunch: 2 oz grilled chicken, lettuce, tomato--the inside of a grilled chicken sandwich (2 protein, 2 veggies)

Snack II: 1/4 c cashews (1 fat)

Snack III: raw carrots, 2 Tbs. peanut butter, 1 oz. cheese (3 protein, 1 veggie)

Dinner: spinach salad with cheese, dried cranberries, & sunflower seeds, small serving lasagna (2 veggies, 2 protein, 1 fruit, 2 starch)

Dessert: pumpkin pie (small slice) with 2 Tbs. real whipped cream--I only made it with 1/2 the sugar (2 fat, 2 sweet/carb)

Daily Total: Protein-11, Fat-4, Starch-2, Veggie-5, Fruit-1, Sweets-2

I think the nutritionist would be proud. My blood sugars were all under 101. This isn't necessarily the perfect diet for everyone with GDM, but I'm not supposed to worry about calories, so I can eat all the fat and protein my body can handle. Oh, and when it says cheese, I do try to mix it up and not always eat the same kind of cheese, but your right Mo, I do love cheese :).